The Secret
by TVFanatic2
Summary: Max has a hidden secret that if anyone found out he would probably be told to get help which is something that he didn't want. The secret was he has depression and self harms severely. What happens if someone finds out his secret? What will happen? Read to find out. Please review so I know you like the story and you want me to continue.
1. Chapter 1

Max woke up not wanting to get up out of bed. He has had depression since he was twelve and he self harms severely. He wanted no-one to know his secret partly because he was ashamed but mostly due to the fact that he would get judged by his 'friends' (work colleagues)

His sister (Robyn) had no idea about his depression and the scars that are all over his arms.

No-one does.

That's the way Max likes it. Desperately he wanted someone to find out about his secret and help him but he knew that he hasn't got the courage to tell anyone because he was scared of the reaction that he would get. Also, he didn't want to admit he had a problem.

After five minutes of laying in bed with the quilt over his head so his whole body was covered, he had to drag himself out of bed. He walked towards the bathroom and went to have a shower. Just as he was about to get into the shower, out of the corner of his eye he saw his blade.

_Do it. You know you want too, you know you need to. All you are is pathetic_

Just listening to his head he believed what his mind was saying. He picked up one of the many blades he has, he took it into the shower and started to make cuts all over his wrist. Before he knew it, their were about 20 cuts, varying in size and deepness but not deep enough for him to bleed to death.

What was supposed to be a quick shower, he was in there for 30 minutes and he had 15 minutes to get to work. He quickly got dressed into a casual outfit which were blue jeans and a long sleeve top because he was getting changed into his uniform when he got to work. He had to make sure to pack a jacket so he could hide his cuts.

Max got to work got into his uniform with his added grey jacket but he didn't know if he could wear it but he was fucked if he couldn't. He walked into the ED and saw that it was really busy and while he was walking towards reception, he got stopped by Zoe.

"Hey Max" she said to him

"Hey Zoe"

"What you wearing that grey jacket for?" she asked him curiously

"I'm a bit cold" he replied

Zoe left it at that but she knew that she would have to ask him about it later. She was quite intrigued by him because of his looks and personality but she was very worried about him due to him having a lot of bad days where he is quiet and looks really down.

She had been in her office all day trying to catch up on paperwork that was piling up on her desk which she had to finish in on Saturday so she had four days. It was 7 o clock so she was finished with work and she was just walking into the changing room to grab her coat when she saw Max shirtless.

She was looking at his great body and that's when her eyes trailed down and she caught the sight of his arms which were covered in scars and recent cuts.

"Max" she whispered due to the fact she was shocked at what she is seeing

Max turned around at the sound of Zoe's voice and he instantly knew she had seen his scarred and recently cut arms.

He had the look of fear in his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Max heard Zoe's voice he knew she had seen his arms. He could tell by her facial expression which showed pity and her eyes which were nearly overflowing with water which would cause her to have a flood of tears streaming down her face. She would be upset if it was anyone else but they have been flirting recently and they were quite close.

Max completely ashamed to see her face anymore leaned his head against one of the lockers not even bothering to put on his long sleeve top. Zoe walked in and closed the door not knowing what to do so she walked over towards him and wrapped her arms around his waist and rests her head on his shoulder.

Zoe knew that if she asked him all of the questions she wanted to ask him he would shut down so she decided to leave it but show that she cared for him by comforting him.

"Max?" she said

"Yeah?" he answered after about a minute of silence

"Come to mine and we'll have a couple of drinks and if you want to talk about it you can" she told him sincerely

"Okay" he answered

He finally turned around and brushed some hair that had fallen out of place back behind her ear As he did this she smiled at him. He turned around and put on his long sleeve top but it brushed on his cuts so he winced which he regretted because he heard Zoe's sharp intake of breath. He also put on his jacket that he had been wearing throughout the day on because he was starting to feel cold.

As soon as Max finished getting his things and Zoe picked up her coat they walked out of the hospital together and towards her car. Max opened the passenger seat while Zoe went to the drivers seat, as she started the car and pulled out of the hospital car park, he immediately leaned his head against the window and stared at all of his surroundings.

After 10 minutes had gone by they pulled up at Zoe's big house and Max felt Zoe's eyes glancing over at him all the way through the car drive, it made him feel uncomfortable at first but he got used to it. She had just found out his secret that he had been able to keep anyone from finding out over 10 years.

They grabbed wine glasses and walked up to Zoe's bedroom and just laid on her bed facing each other talking about their day at work and all about themselves so they could get to know more about each other. Unfortunately, Zoe couldn't get Max to talk about his problems because every time she brought the topic up he would automatically change the conversation. She knew that she had to be patient because he would eventually talk to her in his own times and she didn't want him to feel pressured to open up to her.

They continued talking to each other until about midnight until they finally crawled into bed. Max took off his shirt so he would be more comfortable not bothering about his arms being on show because he felt comfortable around Zoe and he knew that she wouldn't judge him.

They fell asleep with his arm round her waist and her head on his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Both of them were awoken by Max's phone ringing on the loudest volume that it could go up too. Max had to roll over Zoe to be able to get his phone because it was on the other night stand. This made his phone stop ringing the moment he grabbed it because he took ages to come around after sleeping the best night sleep he has had in ages.

"What time is it?" Zoe groaned

"I don't know" he replied while looking at her admiringly

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked nervous of what he was thinking

"You're gorgeous" he told her

They both smiled at each other. Max wasn't used to sleeping in the same bed as a women who he hasn't slept with and he found that with Zoe it wasn't awkward or weird he really liked it. He has been admiring Zoe for quite a while he liked her the first moment he saw her standing outside for a cigarette.

_"Have you got a lighter I can borrow?"I asked politely_

_"You don't have a cigarette do you?"_

_"Your new aren't you" she replied handing me a cigarette_

_"Yeah, first day, first break actually, so I better make it quick, I got some rugby player in CT I need to get back too" I explained_

_"So, apart from the obvious success of bombing cigarettes hows your first day going?"_

_"It's a good question"_

_"What is it to difficult to answer?" She asked after I took a long pause_

_"No it's too soon to tell, see my degree didn't really prepare me for pushing trolleys so - how about you? What do you do?"_

_"Me?" She asked surprised_

_"Too difficult" I said jokingly_

_"Very funny, no I'm -" She said smiling_

_"Come on, let me guess" I asked up for a challenge_

_"I don't know receptionist?"_

_"I'm the clinical lead here"_

_"Are you?" I replied shocked_

_"And they make you stand out here to have a fag?"_

_"And they make me stand out here to have a fag" She replied laughing_

_"It's tough and I'd fight that if I were you"_

_"Would you?"_

_"Yeah"_

_"Anyway I better get back, can I ask you out for a drink as a thankyou?"_

_"I'll take a rain check if that's okay with you"_

He remembered that day like it was yesterday. He definitely knew he met his match with Zoe because she was a very attractive women and he automatically knew that she would be able to handle his wit - he could tell she was feisty and stubborn.

"Max!" she had been shouting for the past couple of minutes while he was daydreaming

"Yeah?" He asked not knowing why she had raised her voice

"I was talking to you for the past couple of minutes not getting a reply" she told him

"Sorry, I was thinking" he said slightly embarrassed

"About?" she desperately wanted to know

"The day we first met" he told her honestly

"I liked that day you were cheeky, charming and attractive but I wouldn't of guessed that you had problems" she said knowing that she'd have to bring the self harm issue up

"I was hoping that you wouldn't bring that up" he wanted to change the entire subject

"You know that I have to, I'm not going to say that you have to tell me about why you do it and what triggers you but I want you to know that I am always here for you any time of the day, even if it's early hours in the morning" she said to him with a silent plea in her voice hoping that he would let her in while reaching over to grab his arm with all the cuts on and wrap it around her waist while they lay face to face and she gently stroked his arm with her hand up and down to comfort him.

"Okay, you will be the first person I go to if I ever need to let things off my chest"

Zoe already knew that was the best thing that she would get out of him for the time being. She wanted him to tell her everything but she knew that he had to make the first step so he was able to fully recover. Max was really grateful to Zoe not pushing him to tell her everything that she desperately needed to know to help him which was the best thing that he could ask for.

They both hadn't got work today which was a surprise because Zoe never really got the day off due to her being clinical lead so she was thankful for Max being there because she knew that she needed the company - she would be bored.

What she didn't know was that Max would finally start talking to her while they spent the day together.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though Zoe knew about Max's scars he still didn't feel comfortable to show them around her so he asked if they could spend the day at his due to Robyn and lofty being at work.

"Zoe" he said nervously

"Yeah sweetie?" she replied

"Can we please go to mine?"

"Why?" she wondered

He looked down at his arms which were bare due to him having to wear the shirt he wore yesterday. Zoe immediately guessed why he was so nervous which was unlike him

"You want to go home and wear a jacket?" she asked sympathetically

He nodded his head almost like he was embarrassed, she walked up to him and tilted his head up and kissed his cheek.

"Okay, but let me get dressed first and I'll drive you to your house and we can stay there all day if you want" she told him

"Thank you" he said while leaning down to kiss her cheek

Zoe didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around her but if he did she didn't blame him – he wasn't used to people knowing about his secret.

It took Zoe 30 minutes to get dressed and put on her make – up while Max had his clothes on waiting for her downstairs while helping himself to some breakfast.

"Who said you could have some of my food?" Zoe told him jokingly

"Hungry" he said while his mouth was full of food

Zoe just stood there leaning against the door frame shaking her head at him in a joking way. She was stood there for another 5 minutes until he finished she didn't want any food.

"You ready Max?" she asked him

"Yeah"

They both walked together to her car. Zoe wasn't bothered bout going to Max's student house because Robyn and Lofty were at work so there would be no questions asked to either of them. They would assume that they were together and Zoe would like to be with Max if she got to know him better but he didn't want to rush into things and she wanted him to trust her before they even though about having a relationship. She had an idea that Max kind of liked her because he checks her out on some occasions – she knew he did.

While they were in the car there wasn't much talking but it was a comfortable silence which didn't really bother either of them because it wasn't awkward that they weren't talking they were just in their own little worlds.

Each time Zoe diverted her eyes from looking straight ahead or when she was at traffic lights she turned her head towards Max and she could tell that having bare arms was bothering him. She knew this because every time she looked at him he crossed his arms or shielded them from her view which he didn't have to do – she was a doctor she's treated even talked to people who were like Max – she knew he had mental health issues but didn't want to bring it up because he might take it as an attack and her thinking he was 'crazy.'

"You don't have to hide them you know" she said while looking into his eyes

"I know, it's not you, it's just that I don't want you giving me sympathetic glances" he told her honestly

"I don't want to be like that but I just want to help you in any way that I can"

While they were having that conversation they had been sat around the corner from his house because Zoe didn't want to park anywhere near in front of the house just in case Robyn and Lofty saw it. They both got out of Zoe's car and to show Max she was there for him she gave him a hug and kissed his cheek. Just as she was about to pull away from the hug he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

To any one walking by they would look like they were in a relationship but to them it was a friendly hug but they both felt something more. Max thought she was hugging him in a friendly caring way and Zoe thought he was hugging her back because she was the only person who knew about his secret so he could finally tell and express how he was feeling – instead of keeping it all inside.

They both pulled away from the hug and smiled at each other. Zoe leaned inside her car to pick up her bag she left in the back seat and Max closed the door and leaned on the car while he was waiting for her. As they were both walking to Max's house, Zoe pressed lock on her car keys so she didn't have to put it inside the car.

They were both walking inside his house. Zoe thought that she has come out from her house on her only day off because Max wanted a jacket.

She secretly smiled to herself.


	5. Chapter 5

As they both walked inside the house Max went straight upstairs and Zoe walked into the kitchen to make herself and Max a cup of tea.

"Max!" she shouted

"Yeah? He replied

"How do you like your tea?" she asked him

"Milk two sugars" he said

As she was waiting for the kettle to boil she started searching through all the different cupboards to find two mug. As soon as she found the mugs the kettle had just made a click signalling that the water was fully boiled.

She added two sugars and milk to Max's mug just how he liked it and added just milk to hers. When she turned around she saw Max leaning on the doorframe just as she did to him earlier with a slight smirk on his face.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked him

"Not long" he said with a cheeky smile

What Zoe didn't know was that Max had been there since she had been bending down to get the milk out of the fridge – he was admiring the view.

"What are we going to do today then?" Zoe asked him wondering if they would actually be doing anything

"Shall we watch a film?"

"Sure"

Max got up to see what different DVD's he had downstairs in front of the TV. He was looking for all the different DVDs for about 10 minutes until he came across one he thought they would both like – it was a horror though he didn't know if Zoe liked them.

"Do you like horrors?" he asked hoping she did

"Yeah, which one do you have in mind?" she wondered

"Sinister" he replied hoping she would want to watch the same movie as him

He was asking her if she wanted to watch the movie while he had his back to her so when he turned around he was shocked to see her laying out on his sofa with her head resting against the arm rest and her legs stretched out to the other side. He loved seeing this side to her – he was used to seeing her always stiff and stressed out at work. In her free time she was completely different – he liked both of her sides but he preferred this one.

"Make yourself at home then" he said to her as soon as the DVD disc was placed into the DVD player, while saying this he winked at her so he knew that he was only winding her up – she could do whatever she liked (he didn't care)

He went towards the sofa and picked up both of Zoe's legs and placed them on his lap and he sat down. She lifted her head, smiled at him then place her head back down on the arm rest.

Zoe hadn't moved since the start of the movie and it had been on for over half way. She looked over at Max and she saw that he had rolled up his jacket sleeves halfway up his arms and could see the cuts and scars that still hadn't faded from her mind since yesterday – which felt like longer. She didn't know how long he had been doing it for or even why but she didn't want to push him into talking to her but it is not healthy. What annoyed her was that she was a doctor and she couldn't even talk to Max because she liked him as a friend and maybe even more than yet but she didn't want to take advantage of him while he was going through a rough time.

From the extent of his arms she could tell it had been going on for a while. The scars were all different in size and length but the cuts looked deep and she knew they would scar as deep or even deeper than the others on his wrists and leading up to his forearm.

Once she realised that she had been looking at his arms for far too long, she looked up and saw Max looking down at her with caution due to him not knowing what she was going to do.

"Sorry" she said embarrassingly

"It is okay" he said with no hint of annoyance in his voice

To be honest Max wasn't annoyed because if he found out something like that he would of done so much more than Zoe by bombarding the person with all sorts of questions – he was so thankful she hasn't because he wouldn't know what to say to her. Even though he had feelings for her and she was his friend - she was still his boss, it would be uncomfortable for both of them.

"You can tell me anything, you know that don't you" she told him

"I know I can" he said while holding out his arms for her to lean into

When he wrapped his arms around her waist tightly everything seemed to fall into place. She snuggled further into his chest rested her head in the crook of his neck just like they did outside but she had her legs thrown over his lap while one of his hand trailed down to rest on her thigh.

He had no intention of covering up his arms because she still treated him the same so it wasn't uncomfortable or any awkwardness they were in their own little world.

Max looked down at Zoe and all he could see was her full head of hair until she looked up at him.

It was like there was a magnet pulling them towards each other because they were opposites. She was a respected doctor (high up in the ranks) and he was a musician that turned to 'pushing trolleys' (porter.) This was what all of the attraction/sexual tension was all about. It was a relationship that was sure to fail because of the difference in their lifestyles but it would work for them.

They were leaning towards each other and when they kissed they both felt fireworks.

They knew it was meant to be.


End file.
